Am I the only dance mom who feels behind all the other dance moms? The one encouraging from the sidelines and speaking support but not able to help with hair or makeup, still wearing work clothes and sipping wine from a coffee mug knowing she’s not fooling anyone?
Hi, I’m the sloppy mom who is behind on the dance bill, works full+ time just to pay for it , and lives every moment to make her baby girl’s dream come true. I can’t sew, I can’t stone, and I can’t name any of the moves my daughter is doing on that stage or help her work on them at home. I like her teachers but I’m not up close and personal, and I don’t buy them Christmas gifts. Yes, I should, and have good intentions but I either forgot, broke it, or drank it already.
I forget dance picture day until someone reminds me the day before.
The recital is a nightmare because I can’t find the pieces to all of her costumes.
I have no real dance mom friends, and so I don’t know if I am alone. I’m pretty sure if there was a support group for people like me, I’d be there alone eating all the donuts and drinking from my coffee cup that everyone knows is wine, and I’d be crying. Crying because I’m trying so incredibly hard, and stressing over not doing well enough. Because, my daughter isn’t planning on dancing until she graduates high school, she’s planning on dancing for life. The thought that I’m working this hard, driving her every day, pushing her and encouraging her while giving up a lot of my own life will be for nothing if I fail to get her to where she needs to be within the next few years, and I’m so incredibly bad at it.
Will her dream college let her into their dance program? What does she need and will her teachers make sure she succeeds? If I ask her teachers to make sure she learns certain things I’ll look like the crazy mom but if I don’t they might not push it and then she’ll never learn it but if I do will they ignore my requests because I’m being a pest? Should I care if I’m being a pest when I’m paying so much money (that I really can’t afford) for lessons?
I just want her to do well in life, and in life this is what she wants to do. I so badly want it for her but I can only do so much. She’s working so hard and I often feel I’m failing her in every way, and she works so hard.
I hope when she ventures out in a few short years she will see how hard I tried. I hope when she remembers me picking her up after dance class with spaghetti on my shirt and messy bun, that she remembers it fondly. I hope we laugh about the arguments over hair and whose fault it was that the tap shoes were left in the other dance bag. I hope she remembers my heart breaking for her when she lost a special part in a dance, and that I really wanted to fix it for her. I cheered louder than anyone at every competition, and posted every win to Facebook as though I won those trophies for myself because I felt like I did.
I hope she knows what I go through for her, and that no matter what she decides to do for the rest of her life, I will never regret being a struggling dance mom. Not one second.
I hope she never stops dancing.